Going on a date after 40s...

hey all,


I will try to describe what happens behind the scenes when a simple invitation takes place and you are over 40 years old.


Boy meets girl. Girl is getting anxiety attacks.


You wait for the phone call , sleep with your blackberry and start dieting.


He finally calls you and instead of being exited panic sets in:

What should I wear? What should I say?Do I have enough time to get ready?
I have not been in a real date since I do not rememember when...
Should I Google : Howtogoonadate.com ?

Elizabeth Taylor on her glory days if she was felling fat or not too pretty used to postpone the date for a month so she could get ready...She could afford that after all she is Elizabeth Taylor and I am not! If I postponed he might never call again.

Anyway my heart is going miles an hour and I start to make appointments :
Manicure for sure,pedicure not so sure (maybe I will wear my new boots) maybe I should in case I have to take my shoes off, very confused at this point.
I check my phone again ( afraid he might cancel).

Oh God !!!

Wax : check (regular,Brazilian or bold).

Blow dry hair : check

Assassin shoe: check

Dilema: be confortable or look good?
Sexy or classy?
Beacon Hill or Upper East side?
I have a fever...

After that I tell my boss I have a doctors appointment so I can go shopping and buy a new dress in a hour.

Of course I can't find anything , I start to cry and feeling even fatter.

Do I have time for a mini face lift?

Do I have time for a mini lipo?

I guess not so I decided to embrace my wrinkles and cellulite.

At this point I am only drinking water and about to pass out.

OK I am desperately trying to keep my cool and already established that I will get some nice lingerie black lace and classy (just in case).

I get home and call my best friend because I am not sure if I have a glass of wine or take my double dose of meds.

He says I will be fine, just be myself and wear that black dress from last year.

I take both and tried the dress on just to make sure it fits.

After 2 hours and $200.00 later I look good, feel confident and my hair looks amazing.
At this point I am sweating and check if my deodorant is working.
I scribble my name with is last name and of course I love the sound of it.
He is on time (I am in total state of dismal).
He finally arrives and thank God he says I look good and smell good (my mind tells me he wants to get into my lacy panties and I have too much perfume).
I hold on , exhale and promise myself not tonight.
The night goes on , I don't talk too much, behave like a lady but the wine is making me silly.
He drives me home, gives me a good night kiss.
I come home and sing along with my dog and wait for the next phone call.
He is told by his friends he needs to wait a few days.
He does not follow " the rules" which makes my life easier.
Indeed he calls, indeed I will need a new dress.
He is been calling for over a month now, however I do not need my meds and only drink wine to celebrate this new amazing "frince".
I want to be after all happily ever after on this mature fairy tale.

Have faith, believe and be happy.

Fabiana

I've kissed many frogs...

Hey friends!
Just FYI I been kissing frogs for a long time now.
Frogs has many colors, shapes, lineage, natural habitats.
I ask myself why I been pursuing frogs?
I don't even speak frog language anymore...
The game "kissing frog he is not turning to a prince" became difficult and exhausting.
I had to take charge : abandon Frogland for good or pursue a real prince.
Let me tell you something the ecosystem went crazy and there is frogs everywhere and ALL the royalty are taken.
I them just like that I STOP kissing...
Don't try this on you own .You need rehab and here is the 12 steps:
1) Stop looking.
2) Celibacy.
3) Stop with the nostalgia.
4) Stop drinking.
5) No sad songs.
6) Focus.
7) Protect your assets.
8) Stop asking what if.
9) Stop planning you future if this future requires a prince.
10) Listen to your mother.
11) Believe in yourself .
12) Think outside the box of Frogland.

After the detox: stir fry, shake, pour and Move to Boston.

I've found a frince!
Half frog half prince!
A new mutation , new species.
I am happy and felling pretty.
Welcome to FRINCELAND!!!!

XXXXXXXXXXX,
Fabiana

PS: no more xoxoxoxoxoxoxo, only xxxxxxxxxxxx

It's complicated!

Relations
Relation-ship sinking
to be shipped
Booty call.
Friends with benefits (including co-pay).
without co-pay -$
One night stand.
sometimes 9 1/2 weeks
friends and only friends
We became friends.
It is me not you!
I do not love you anymore.
I still love you but I need some space...
I need time to think.
I am not ready (ever).
We are together for too long.
we need to know each other first...
You will find someone who deserves you.
With breakfast.
Without breakfast.
You looked good at the end of the party.
Too much alcohol.
You looked pretty last night but not so pretty this morning.
No chemistry (:
Too much of it.
Simply not into to you today!
You are too good to be true therefore I'm scared.
You live too far.
We do not belong together.
You are black or white...or too white
You are perfect but I need you to change.
We do not speak the same language.
You are boring...
You are too funny.
Well girlfriends I could give you many reasons why we are alone.
I can either cry or marry my gay friend or just believe that "some people called one night stand and some people called paradise".
Is he out there?
I am exhausted.
Should I trow the bait?

Happy hunting,
Fabiana

25 facts about me that i like to share.

1. I love jazz.
2. I can't drive.
3. I hate the dark.
4. I wish I could rescue ALL dogs.
5. I am obsessed by fine lingerie.
6. I vote ALWAYS.
7. I am a proud American.
8. I am a widow...
9. I love any James Bond movies.
10. I smoke occasionally.
11. I've parachute jumped.
12. I am addicted to sunblock.
13. I never watched Gone with the Wind.
14. I hate air conditioners.
15. I've just learned to bank online.
16. I cry everyday.
17. I have a huge crush on Bill Clinton.
18. I have 5 tattoos.
19. I am not on Facebook or anything like that.
20. I am on Google.
21. I can starch and iron a shirt dry cleaners style.
22. I can refinish furniture.
23. I wish I was a carpenter.
24. I dated (briefly) a very famous basketball player.
25. I appreciate coffee like I appreciate wine.
    

Well now you know, let me know about you !

When I first started writing this I was surprised how many things I did not know about myself, so take this journey and will be surprised.

Happy journey,