10 Things that makes me happy!

Hi loves,

I have been lazy...Way too much to do ... My creative flow is all over the place , I continue to write , but still trying to control the huge amount of paper everywhere, wish I had a "writing butler" that cold follow me around writing all my ideas down and translate into a very organized form and publish it for me , I guess that is called the angel writer (please tell me that is an app for that?)

1.  Friends: I have the most amazing friends , we believe in vows, in God, in wine, no judgement is that simple.
2.  Tivo!
3. My old fashion IPOD, music is a big part of my life.
4.  Botox ( Yes I can and Yes I love it !).
5. Yoga and my special mat (sometimes it makes me fly).
6. Lazy cold days at home doing nothing...
7. Cosmetic samples or any samples for that matter.
8. My beloved Bella.
9. Public transportation , $ 1.50 can take anywhere I need to go.
10. Good memories.

That is all for today ,

Love and more love,

Fabiana

What if...

Hi folks,
I have been away for while, for a very long while...
Finding excuses not to come here and writing in secrecy...Not sure from whom ...
What ifs sometimes comes to mind to torment me, I guess everyone has what "if "moments but lately because my 45Th birthday is fast approaching it became a loud noise that does not want to stop.
What if ... I have stayed put.
What if ... I have said no when I knew time was up.
What if ... they did not left me or stayed.
What if ... I had persevered and fought.
What if ... I had stayed behind and agreed.
What if ... I had trade love for money.
What if ... I have obeyed the rules at all times.
What if ... I had chosen the right street between many avenues...
What if ... I had said no but my heart wanted so badly so say YES.
What if ... I have kept that secret only to myself...
What if ... I have not given all.
What if ... I have called back or accept an invitation.
What if ... I had run away without looking back.
What if ... I had pursue my dreams.
What if ... I had use my time wisely.
What if... what if ...
Maybe only maybe if I had done and undone all the above my wisdom would be tainted and my heart a bit softer.

Love to all,

Fabiana

What ifs are made of dreams...

Law and Order

• 
  

Law and order:
Just a quick goodbye to one of my favorite shows on TV.
They have law and they try to restore order.
They kept me in touch with my beloved New York.
Their song used to be my ring tone.
Woman getting killed, raped, discriminated, interrogated or sometimes just in a "bag" (even dead they still looked good).
Pimps, professionals, rich, poor, Latinos, white, Jews, models,projects, brownstones,yellow cabs, endless cups of coffee and hot dog stands they were all casted in this organized crime solving drama that we watched everyday in every channel and various languages.
You can not have the LAW without the ORDER.
Jack McCoy, Abbie Carmichael, Don, Lennie Briscoe.
We still have Olivia Benson(scared of her), Elliot Stabler (I confess), Casey Novak( smart) and Dr. George Huang (love him).
SUV stays for now because a city like New York demands a "special department".
I will miss you all,
Fabiana (without law or any order)

The art of getting old (very old).

Hi everybody (the 13 of you) who cares about for what I have to say.





Is oficcial: I am getting old!


No surprise there for a lot people but I was in denial with my botox and yoga.


Well yoga I haven't done in while and botox: I decided to spend my money on this vacation so I could be sane.


Therefore I am fat with wrinkles and so not feeling the getting old gracefully bullshit.


My bathing suits needs to be replaced ASAP I was thinking maybe the one piece with a skirt in black so nobody can see my cellulites and black always make me look slimmer.


My shorts are getting longer along with the sleeves.


I am shocked that young people can drink ALL day and stay on the sun.


Before: Drink beer all day without worrying about calories or hangover.

Now: Drink 3 margaritas and take a nap.

Before: Baked on the sun with baby oil.

Now: Use sunblock 365 days.

Before: Read a book was never an option.

Now: I read a book with reading glasses under my sunglasses (very classy).

Before:Time in my room was to sleep only.

Now: I require a nice room because I need confort and go to bed at 9:00 pm (pathetic).

Before: Be IN the pool or beach a lot.

Now: Chilling by the shade people wacthing.

Note to now: people watching it is extremely interesting when you are sober.
Well folks that is the the naked truth and nothing but.
If you do not believe me or still in denial try to read in the sun!

Sun kisses,
Fabiana

Jack Bauer is hot!

Just to make a point.

Jack is hot, can shoot and run, kill an army by himself and save the planet all at once.

He is hotter than super man and spider man.

He wears regular clothes, has super guns and a purse.

He can speak to the president at anytime and has more computer skills than Bill Gates.

He is not lucky in love but he is married to his job.

Who needs James Bond?

Please Jack call me.

People out of the closet!

Love love love my gay friends!
Lately has been way too many people coming out of the "closet".
I seriously do not understand and never will why so many get shocked about it.
Many years a go I told my mother that Rose Odonnell was gay and she cried and called me crazy.
Well well well.
My gaydar is super powerful therefore I will make you a list just for future reference:
Rick Martin is gay (just came out this week) hello Kitty!
Kevin Spacey is gay, Matt Lauer is gay, David Guest is gay, Queen Latifah is gay, Naomi C. is gay (afraid I will get a phone in my head), Oprah is gay (so inside the vault) , Tom Cruise is almost gay (if there is such a thing), Jon Bon Jovi (too pretty), Jodie Foster smart and gay, Clay Aiken (really no one knew except me?), Tom and Jerry :gays and rodents (not handy), Batman and Robin, Doctor Smith from Lost in Space, I have a cousin that like to be called a homosexual according to him sounds better.
My closet is empty and I have been fooled once but I will be updating my list as life goes on.
Kisses on your rainbow!

PS: People deserve to be happy no matter their preferences, love is for all of us and lets keep fighting for human rights.

Fabiana

Too much!

Too pink!

Too white, too fat, too tired, too neurotic, too intolerant, too shady, too big,too good,too shocking, too human,too fake, too busy,

too nostalgic, too old, too shabby, too chic, too full, too small, too calm, too cold, too hot, too empty, too bright,too little, too late, too red, to blue,too cheap, too high, too plain, too soft, too clean, too messy, too slow, too dark, too passe, too in, too out, too sad,too shallow, too narrow, too dry, too creamy, too thin, too black, too scary, too weird,too new, too nice, too much, too bad!!!

Is it time for a one piece???

Hi ladies,

I am pretty sure some of you knows exactly what I mean...

Being a good Brazilian woman I ALWAYS worn a two piece bikini , better yet a thong bikini.

I started wearing a thong when I was 18 years old following my tribe.

For some shocking but for my father a family tragedy.

I got away with my thongs until I got married (I was already 28 years old) and my husband sweetly said that was time for a change.
With a new last name and lot of respect for my husband I said goodbye to my tinny bikinis.

Officially I belonged to the "housewives Club" therefore behavior was need it at the beach and at pool parties.

Sometimes on a private beach or a boat I would dare to go topless but fiercely kept my full buttons on.

Several decades later and lots of changes I decided is was about time to go on vacation.

Some place warm and quiet ,hours by the beach with my books.

A new bathing suit was need it after a long winter and two years without a real vacation.

Before I started with a self mutilation process I dive into my own closet!

Big mistake! Huge!

My ass became too big, my breast too saggy, my spider veins looks like a road map and my gut makes me wonder is there a full body spanks?

Or a better off with a burkini?

I never worn a one piece or even tried one.

Should I fast until then? Or should I go to a spa instead?

Too Little too late.

Every chocolate bar, every bow of pasta I eat just because I deserved...

Now in front of a mirror of a department store I am crying and mad at the lighting and the mirror.

I called my fairy "make me look skinny by tomorrow godmother" but she is in Mexico saving lives.

Miss my thongs, my youth, my carbs and a cold beer.

So I took my meds, compromised and got a tankini!





Viva Mexico!



PS: my vacation is all inclusive and definitely will be a site of a white whale.

10 things I want to do before I die!

Hi guys!

I decided to list the 10 things I want to do before I die!
May be difficult or just a dream but I got to try or else:

1) Go to Paris (France).
2) Go back to college.
3) Have a big party family reunion.
4) Get rid of my spider veins.
5) Stop smoking.
6) Learn how to drive without having a anxiety attack.
7) Go to Egypt.
8) Find my father and forgive him for all he had done to me.
9) Be an aunt.
10) Live in a small house with my dogs e go peacefully.

That's all folks,
Fabiana

Old poem found

Once upon a time...
There was a boy that always got himself into trouble.
Once upon a time...
That was a girl that always got herself into trouble.
One day they met and the mother of all troubles began.
He show her the sun and the tempest.
The mountains and the clouds.
The invisible horses and the burning wood.
They made love and went into riding.
But time, forces and witches kept them apart.
And time was the only thing they could not afford.
The wind whispered _is time.
Only left was the memories that no distance will never erase it.
All she could dream of it was about a boy that she once met and had engraved on her back.
She closed her eyes and thanked her engraver.
Once again they ran apart.
No promises only memories of a boy that she once knew.
Why heaven?

Love to all,

Fabiana

10 THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY IN THE MORNING

Hey guys,

I shamefully stole this idea from a blog that I follow and decided to share with "yous" my favorite 10 things that makes me happy and is very easy to make me smile :)

1) waking up in the morning and have Bella smiling at me! (yes she smiles).

2) My coffee pot has already started!

3) I know exactly what I am going to wear.

4) Mr. K text me to say good morning babe.

5) I read my daily quote and meditate.

6) I listen to my favorite songs (When the world goes down by David Bowie or Stay by Simply Red).

7) My bus is on time.

8) Starbucks is empty.

9) My inbox at work is not overflowing.

10) What is for lunch???

I do not take anything for granted, I appreciate my family and friends, I am content with my job, I try to learn from my mistakes, I try to love more, live more, kiss more, hug more, complaint less, understand more, forgive more, spend less, analyze less, worry less, embrace new things, accept changes.

Wow!!!

it takes time, wrinkles and lots of gray hair but is possible to be happy even though sometimes you think you can't.

Simply and simple.

Kisses,

Fabiana

Coming soon in a theater near you 10 things that make me happy in the afternoon.

Bostonians...

Hey boys and girls,



It has been a year already...

Heart ache, doubts,issues.

I am very much in love with this town (city always be Manhattan)!

Peculiar, conservative, historical.

I've learned so much!

How to talk, how to hold back my worlds and sometimes my behavior.

It is a small place therefore caution is always welcomed.

The pace is definitely slower but I still run to take the "T", people are patient (shocker) and waiting seems to be the norm.

The suburbs is only 15 minutes away and drive in to the city is a project, the majority only commutes no more than 10 minutes.

They are healthy and bikes are part of the picture.

Geese and turkeys walk around like it is the natural habitat, never seen a turkey before unless he was laying on the table for Thanksgiving.

They wear top siders, barn coats, argyle, pearls.

The vocabulary is way different:

Uey= u turn

Barrel= trash can

Bundles= bags full of groceries

Half moon= black and white cookies

Carriage=supermarket cart

Sub= hero
Messenger= carrier

I found out that I speak New Yorker/Jew with a Brazilian accent which make matters worse.

At&t is not famous and my 917 area code is matter of laughter.

Restaurants close their kitchen at 10:00 pm...

Everybody wants to be somebody, they have to make it to the list.

Fashion is not a priority but education is.

Delivery is rare and some days I could trade my tiara for a nice Latte at my door.

I learned to like hockey and hide my Yankees hat.

My east side is Boylston street and Uptown is the Copley mall.

My metro card was replaced for the Charlie card.

I am happy, fatter and matted.

My new shirt?

I LOVE BOSTON!!!

Kisses,

Fabiana

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM BELLA!!!

Hi everybody!!!!

Yes is me Bella making my debut on my mother's blog!

Happy New year!!! Yes!

Wishing you Lot's of long walks in the park,nice gourmet cookies,

fluffy bed,nice groomers and no fleece!

Kisses

I you report back very soon!

Bella Torres

HOLIDAY ETIQUETE FOR DUMMIES

I know I know the holidays are here again...

The music is already playing (let snow let snow let it snow) oh boy so annoying!

You all know I hate it!Santa has been on my black list for some time.

This year I am hopeful that he will come around and give some Loboutins and diamonds (I am so overdue).

Today I was terrified when I saw a turkey sweater!

Is just plain wrong! Get a life, a friend and grow up!! Definitely not cute!

Here are some tips to look great , classy and be the talk of the party in a good way:

Easy on the alcohol!

Easy on the pictures!Not saying don't take then just do it in the beginning when everyone still looks decent.

Always offer help to the hostess/host is polite and appreciated.

Don't ever complaint about: music, food, gossip (maybe a bit).

Table manners is important even if it is between friends and family: no burping, mouth full, make sure you put the fork down ,yelling, discussing personal issues, religion, politics and the list goes on is time to celebrate, save the drama for your therapist.

Dress with respect: Holiday colors is allowed as long is solid colors, no novelty accessories, holiday SWEATERS should be banned by law in every state! Keep simple and chic.

You can add some sparkle with care, add some red to your black dress, add a green belt to your winter white (very chic), add some gold to any color.

Smile even if you are miserable, be patient with the elderly, play with the children.

Eat like that is tomorrow, clean up after yourself, dot not sniff on the medicine cabinet.

Bring a nice bottle of wine or champagne, flowers always already on a vase.

Send a thank you note, be grateful to be invited.

After all said and done I will behave on my first Bostonian Thanksgiving!

Grateful yes,more even so if I find my Laboutins under my tree.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Fabiana

JUST BECAUSE I LOVE THE SARTORIA LIST

WHAT NOT TO WEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

For heavens sake:

I am sick and tired of DONT's in this day and age!

This behavior got to Stop!

People just should be punish by law for the follow:

SCRUNCHIES

MOMS JEANS

VESTS WITH APPLIQUES

no vests at all unless is part of a tailored suit.

EXPOSED BRAS :

Black under white

latex straps

regular bra with racer back tops

EXPOSED UNDERWEAR:

Black under sheer white

VPL

Visible thongs (crime punish by death)

FUNNY PACKS

KEDS+WHITE SOCKS+SHORTS (THINK JC PENNEY) +RED" SUCKS" T'SHIRT.

TENNIS BRACELET SO 5 MINUTES A GO...THINK CARMELA SOPRANO.

ACRYLIC NAILS

too square

too long

with flowers, embellishments or holiday touches.

WHITE HOSIERY

unless you are a nurse!!!

MULLETS (THEY STILL AROUND)!

another crime punish by death.

PIG TAILS ABOVE 5 YEARS OLD!

SUPER STRAIGHT HAIR.

PERMS

PLASTIC CROGS

again unless you are below 5 years old.

STONE WASHED JEANS

TOO MUCH BLING!!!!

The Carrie necklace is over!

NAME DROPPING!!!!!

Anyway just to name a few those above make me sick and tired!

Let me know what makes you sick!

Be chic and rested,

Fabiana

Going on a date after 40s...

hey all,


I will try to describe what happens behind the scenes when a simple invitation takes place and you are over 40 years old.


Boy meets girl. Girl is getting anxiety attacks.


You wait for the phone call , sleep with your blackberry and start dieting.


He finally calls you and instead of being exited panic sets in:

What should I wear? What should I say?Do I have enough time to get ready?
I have not been in a real date since I do not rememember when...
Should I Google : Howtogoonadate.com ?

Elizabeth Taylor on her glory days if she was felling fat or not too pretty used to postpone the date for a month so she could get ready...She could afford that after all she is Elizabeth Taylor and I am not! If I postponed he might never call again.

Anyway my heart is going miles an hour and I start to make appointments :
Manicure for sure,pedicure not so sure (maybe I will wear my new boots) maybe I should in case I have to take my shoes off, very confused at this point.
I check my phone again ( afraid he might cancel).

Oh God !!!

Wax : check (regular,Brazilian or bold).

Blow dry hair : check

Assassin shoe: check

Dilema: be confortable or look good?
Sexy or classy?
Beacon Hill or Upper East side?
I have a fever...

After that I tell my boss I have a doctors appointment so I can go shopping and buy a new dress in a hour.

Of course I can't find anything , I start to cry and feeling even fatter.

Do I have time for a mini face lift?

Do I have time for a mini lipo?

I guess not so I decided to embrace my wrinkles and cellulite.

At this point I am only drinking water and about to pass out.

OK I am desperately trying to keep my cool and already established that I will get some nice lingerie black lace and classy (just in case).

I get home and call my best friend because I am not sure if I have a glass of wine or take my double dose of meds.

He says I will be fine, just be myself and wear that black dress from last year.

I take both and tried the dress on just to make sure it fits.

After 2 hours and $200.00 later I look good, feel confident and my hair looks amazing.
At this point I am sweating and check if my deodorant is working.
I scribble my name with is last name and of course I love the sound of it.
He is on time (I am in total state of dismal).
He finally arrives and thank God he says I look good and smell good (my mind tells me he wants to get into my lacy panties and I have too much perfume).
I hold on , exhale and promise myself not tonight.
The night goes on , I don't talk too much, behave like a lady but the wine is making me silly.
He drives me home, gives me a good night kiss.
I come home and sing along with my dog and wait for the next phone call.
He is told by his friends he needs to wait a few days.
He does not follow " the rules" which makes my life easier.
Indeed he calls, indeed I will need a new dress.
He is been calling for over a month now, however I do not need my meds and only drink wine to celebrate this new amazing "frince".
I want to be after all happily ever after on this mature fairy tale.

Have faith, believe and be happy.

Fabiana

I've kissed many frogs...

Hey friends!
Just FYI I been kissing frogs for a long time now.
Frogs has many colors, shapes, lineage, natural habitats.
I ask myself why I been pursuing frogs?
I don't even speak frog language anymore...
The game "kissing frog he is not turning to a prince" became difficult and exhausting.
I had to take charge : abandon Frogland for good or pursue a real prince.
Let me tell you something the ecosystem went crazy and there is frogs everywhere and ALL the royalty are taken.
I them just like that I STOP kissing...
Don't try this on you own .You need rehab and here is the 12 steps:
1) Stop looking.
2) Celibacy.
3) Stop with the nostalgia.
4) Stop drinking.
5) No sad songs.
6) Focus.
7) Protect your assets.
8) Stop asking what if.
9) Stop planning you future if this future requires a prince.
10) Listen to your mother.
11) Believe in yourself .
12) Think outside the box of Frogland.

After the detox: stir fry, shake, pour and Move to Boston.

I've found a frince!
Half frog half prince!
A new mutation , new species.
I am happy and felling pretty.
Welcome to FRINCELAND!!!!

XXXXXXXXXXX,
Fabiana

PS: no more xoxoxoxoxoxoxo, only xxxxxxxxxxxx

It's complicated!

Relations
Relation-ship sinking
to be shipped
Booty call.
Friends with benefits (including co-pay).
without co-pay -$
One night stand.
sometimes 9 1/2 weeks
friends and only friends
We became friends.
It is me not you!
I do not love you anymore.
I still love you but I need some space...
I need time to think.
I am not ready (ever).
We are together for too long.
we need to know each other first...
You will find someone who deserves you.
With breakfast.
Without breakfast.
You looked good at the end of the party.
Too much alcohol.
You looked pretty last night but not so pretty this morning.
No chemistry (:
Too much of it.
Simply not into to you today!
You are too good to be true therefore I'm scared.
You live too far.
We do not belong together.
You are black or white...or too white
You are perfect but I need you to change.
We do not speak the same language.
You are boring...
You are too funny.
Well girlfriends I could give you many reasons why we are alone.
I can either cry or marry my gay friend or just believe that "some people called one night stand and some people called paradise".
Is he out there?
I am exhausted.
Should I trow the bait?

Happy hunting,
Fabiana

25 facts about me that i like to share.

1. I love jazz.
2. I can't drive.
3. I hate the dark.
4. I wish I could rescue ALL dogs.
5. I am obsessed by fine lingerie.
6. I vote ALWAYS.
7. I am a proud American.
8. I am a widow...
9. I love any James Bond movies.
10. I smoke occasionally.
11. I've parachute jumped.
12. I am addicted to sunblock.
13. I never watched Gone with the Wind.
14. I hate air conditioners.
15. I've just learned to bank online.
16. I cry everyday.
17. I have a huge crush on Bill Clinton.
18. I have 5 tattoos.
19. I am not on Facebook or anything like that.
20. I am on Google.
21. I can starch and iron a shirt dry cleaners style.
22. I can refinish furniture.
23. I wish I was a carpenter.
24. I dated (briefly) a very famous basketball player.
25. I appreciate coffee like I appreciate wine.
    

Well now you know, let me know about you !

When I first started writing this I was surprised how many things I did not know about myself, so take this journey and will be surprised.

Happy journey,